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The President’s Bulletproof Chair & Office Equipment You Can’t Afford

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The President of the United States is a powerful individual, and there are an awful lot of perks that come with the job—as Bill Clinton has made a habit of saying on the campaign trail this year, “you never stop at a red light, ever, every time you walk into a room they play a song, and your airplane is so cool that they make movies about it.” Being that this is Hillary’s campaign, it would make sense that Bill wouldn’t mention the Oval Office, or the full staff, as he’s been a very bad boy with both in the past.

A Stapler Fit For Christie’s: The Remington 1919

This is the Remington 1919 “Spool-O-Wire” stapler, which recently sold for $760 on eBay. Without a doubt, it’s the most money anyone has ever paid for this humble bit of office equipment. It originally cost but one dollar to place a spool of steel wire in the 12-pound behemoth, and it would then staple an astronomical 15,000 times—so it may be priced out of your range, but it’s certainly easy on the pocketbook afterwards.

Carbon Fiber Racing Technology, For Your Desk And Right Hand: the F1 Mousepad

This mousepad may not look like much—it’s a flat black surface, after all. However, this little wonder is constructed out of leather and carbon fibre, and was designed on the same CAD system that F1 engineers use for their high-performance automobiles, leading to a price tag of over 260 pounds, or 520 US dollars.

The GoldVish LeMillion Phone: 18K of ‘Can You Hear Me Now?

While not technically a piece of office equipment, and perhaps is more likely to end up in the hands of Paris Hilton, this Russian-made bit of ostentatious wealth is the new standard in cellular bling. Made out of 18K gold, and yes, diamonds, on the face of the unit, each of the three manufactured devices is available for only 1 Million Euros.

The Pen Is Mightier Than The Checkbook: Montblanc’s Anniversary Piece

In honour of their 100th Anniversary, Montblanc crafted this masterpiece, set with over 840 diamonds and 20 carats of gemstones (it’s available in rubies, emeralds, and sapphires). As a special bonus, the jewels, which are set by the experts at Van Cleef & Arpels, are installed in a manner that conceals the settings, leaving only the stones to be tarnished by the grimy claw of the proletariat. The grand total? $740,000.

Captains Of Industry Can Own A Desk That Costs As Much As A Yacht

Finally, the last piece on our list and the centrepiece of any office is the desk. The handmade masterpiece above is from a manufacturer in the American Southwest who claims it sold for over $200,000. It’s worth pointing out that that’s markedly more than many homes in the U.S. but still less than a third of the cost of Montblanc’s diamond-studded pen. How much would it cost if you were to buy every item on this list? A cool 2.5 million dollars–or enough to buy 19 Porsche 911 Turbos.